


Tangled In Your Heartstrings

by centreoftheselights



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Arguments, Blood Drinking, Discussion of Immortality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, Fae Roman Sanders, Falling In Love, Growing Attached, Happy Ending, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, Illness and Injury, Isolating Yourself, Jealousy, M/M, Magical Bond, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Vampire Deceit Sanders, Vampire Logan Sanders, Vampire Virgil Sanders, Witch Emile Picani, Witch Patton Sanders, accidental magic, helping a stranger, keeping secrets, self-deprecation, stuck together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21662380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights
Summary: When Patton uses his magic to rescue a direly injured vampire, he doesn’t realise that his actions will change both of their lives for good.
Relationships: Background Loceit, Moxiety, Roxiality, Royality - Relationship
Comments: 103
Kudos: 243
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my gift for the [Sanders Sides Secret Santa](https://sanderssantas.tumblr.com/) fic exchange. Big thanks to the event organisers and my beta readers, and happy holidays to [@creativemoxiety](https://creativemoxiety.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Warnings: Vampires, Blood, Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Deprecating Thoughts, Minor Self-Harm. Mentions of Violence, Homelessness and Prejudice. If you want more information, ask in the comments!

“Hey! Hey kiddo, can you hear me?”

Virgil groaned, squinting up at the voice that was hovering above him. A bright light shone in his eyes, and he hissed at its source, cringing back.

“Oh, you're a vamp, huh? Sorry about that! When was the last time you fed?”

Weeks, Virgil thought miserably, so long that he'd lost count. What day was it today?

Whatever day it was, it must be cursed. A pissed-off kelpie had chased him out of his camping spot under a bridge, leaving him to run across town with nothing but a thick hoodie between him and the burning noonday sun. He had hurled himself into the first dark alleyway he'd found, and passed out from pain and exhaustion behind a dumpster.

Virgil had no idea where he was, or who had woken him. He should have been terrified, but all he could think about was how much he _hurt_.

Something lifted him, arms scooping him up and cradling him against a warm body. All he could smell was the blood, hot and thick and so close under the skin… but even if he wasn't disgusted at himself for the very idea, Virgil was too weak to even lift his head, let alone bite this human.

“Oh, you're light as a feather! I'm going to take you to my place, okay? It's not far now, try and stay with me buddy.”

Virgil mumbled incoherently, and for a moment a blinding grin came into focus through his blurred vision.

“That's the spirit, kiddo!” the stranger said. “It's nice to meet you. My name is Patton.”

#

Virgil slipped in and out of consciousness. When he next woke, the warm heat of Patton's body was gone, and he half-wondered if it had been a dream. Some delirium of his dying mind as he slowly wasted away in the gutter.

Only… he wasn't _in_ the gutter any more. The ground beneath him was soft and springy – not cold concrete, but a comfortable couch. He tried to sit up, but only managed to lift his head a couple of inches before flopping back down.

“Hey, hey, don't try to move!” Patton reassured him from somewhere nearby. “I'm gonna fix you up nice and good, I promise.”

There was a scent in the air – not blood, although Virgil could still smell Patton and it made every cell in his body ache to feed. It took a moment for Virgil to place the scent of cinnamon, filling the room so intensely that it made his nose itch. Was the human burning incense?

“I'm gonna sit down now, I've got something that will help.”

Patton lifted Virgil by the shoulders, settling him down again with his head cushioned on Patton's knees. The human was still smiling – did he not understand? How could he be so comfortable curled up with a monster in his lap?

“I… need…” Virgil tried to speak, but his voice was so hoarse his croaking words were barely audible.

“I know you need blood,” Patton answered, “but you need a lot of it, and I only have so much to spare! So I whipped you up a little something that's going to help, okay?”

Virgil blinked, then did his best to nod. Patton smiled, and put a cup to his lips.

“Drink up!”

The liquid was thick and sweet, like… maple syrup? But the taste was all spice. There was a strong kick of cinnamon again, but alongside it was chilli pepper, ginger, lemon, turmeric… As Virgil forced himself to swallow the mysterious concoction, something began to tingle in his chest. Almost like his heart was trying to beat again, for the first time in two years.

“There you go,” Patton said soothingly, stroking his hair. “Almost done… There!”

Patton took the cup away, and smiled. Virgil's vision must be clearer now, because he could see completely clearly what Patton did next.

“Now for the most important part…”

The human picked up a small knife, and made a short cut across his wrist, wincing only slightly as he did so.

Then he lowered his wrist to Virgil's open mouth. The first drops of blood hit Virgil's tongue, and he latched onto the offered limb immediately, sucking deeply at the vein. He no longer had the willpower to pull away. The room, Patton, everything else was forgotten, except for the taste of blood at his lips, like the first rainfall after years of drought, and the desperate need to seek out more.

He didn't even notice as darkness began to eat at the corners of his vision, and slowly, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> This author replies to comments.


	2. Chapter 2

“– and you just _bought him home_?”

Patton folded his arms, frowning at his boyfriend with a pointed look at the dishevelled man currently sleeping on the couch. Roman looked suitably chastened, and took a deep breath, his wingbeats slowing until he once again touched down on the floor. At a considerably lower volume, he continued:

“He could be anyone! He could be dangerous! He could have _hurt_ you, buttercup icing, you were all alone with him –”

“He could barely lift his head,” Patton said flatly. “I may be mortal, but I can still handle myself against a starving, injured vampire who didn't even have the strength to bite me himself –”

He slapped a hand over his mouth as Roman's expression grew horrified.

“He _fed_ from you?”

“More like… I fed him?” Patton admitted with a wince. “I'm sure he won't make a big deal out of it.”

“He'd better not,” Roman replied, fuming. “If he thinks that you _generously_ and _selflessly_ helping him in a crisis entitles him to whisk you away to his coven like some kind of –”

“Not all vampires are like that,” Patton reminded him, pointedly. “Just like not all fairies who meet a pretty boy want to enchant him off into the wilderness for a hundred years.”

Roman paused mid-rant, dropping suddenly to the ground.

“Point taken, love,” he said. “Although I would argue that you are not merely pretty. You are as beautiful as the day is long, with the wit of a mockingbird and a heart as big as the heavens, you –”

“I think he's waking up!”

Patton hurried over to the stranger, who was beginning to stir. Roman huffed behind him, but Patton was much more concerned with his patient.

“Can you hear me?” he asked softly. He put a hand to the vampire's forehead, and was startled when the man jerked back suddenly.

“Hey, hey, it's alright!” Patton put up his hands, trying to reassure the stranger. “My name is Patton, you're at my apartment. Do you remember what happened?”

“Patton…” The man frowned, but as he slowly sat up, he nodded. “You found me. You…”

He trailed off, looking confused.

“You were burnt up real bad, and your body didn't have enough energy to heal you. You must have gone a little too long between feeds, mister!” Patton chuckled. “But you're okay, at least for now. Can you tell us your name?”

The man's eyes snapped immediately to something behind Patton. He half-turned to see Roman looming behind him with a scowl on his face, and his broad red-and-gold wings trembling with tension.

Patton sighed a little and gave a pointed look until Roman took a couple of steps back.

“This is my partner, Roman,” he said politely. “We've both been worried about you, and I'm sure your coven is too. Is there a number we can call them on?”

The man flinched as though struck.

“No,” he said quietly. “I don't have a coven. It's just me.”

Huh. From what Patton had heard, only the oldest and most powerful vampires went it alone. But then, this man could well be centuries old – even if he did, right now, look just as lost as the nineteen-year-old he appeared to be.

“Look,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I'll get out of your hair. I'm sorry I imposed – you really didn't have to –”

He moved to get up.

“Nuh-uh, no way!” As soon as Patton put a hand on his shoulder, the stranger froze. “You might feel better now, but it isn't going to last. I gave you a potion which… well, it's almost like a magical caffeine shot. It'll give you energy for a while, but you can't live off it. I'm not letting you leave until we've got some more blood in you.”

The man bit his lip, looking down.

“I couldn't…”

Patton turned to Roman. “Could you get one of the emergency bags out the freezer and warm it up for him, dear?”

“Happy to help,” Roman replied, only a little sarcastically.

“You have emergency blood in your freezer?” The stranger asked, sounding bewildered. “And your boyfriend is a fairy. Who _are_ you?”

“Just your friendly neighbourhood witch!” Patton said cheerfully. “One of them anyway. I work at one of the shops downtown – Picani's Peculiarities? Emile was the one who apprenticed me, not that I'm a novice, I graduated almost five years ago but I'm still saving up to start my own practise – Patton's Practise! Or Patton's Potions, perhaps? I…”

Patton trailed off as he saw how the man had sagged back against the cushions, looking so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open.

“What I mean to say is, I know what I'm doing,” he concluded. “You're in good hands, kiddo.”

“Virgil.”

The word was spoken so softly Patton thought for a moment he'd misheard. But then the vampire opened his eyes again, his eyes dark and hypnotic.

“My name is Virgil,” he repeated. “And… thanks, I guess. For saving me.”

“You don't need to thank me,” Patton replied. “Everyone deserves help when they're in a tough spot.”

Virgil cracked a half-smile.

“Still,” he said. “Thanks.”

#

At first, Patton expected Virgil to leave as soon as he had finished his drink – but when Virgil drained his glass, slammed it down dramatically, got to his feet and promptly fell back down onto the couch cushions, the plan underwent some revisions. At Patton's insistence, Virgil agreed to spend the night with them, and therefore the next day too.

“I'll have to get a hold of some more blood for you.” Patton frowned. “I'm not sure I'll be able to find a live donor at such short notice…”

Virgil turned, impossibly, even paler.

“You really don't have to,” he said quickly. “I'm fine with the bagged stuff.”

Patton's frown deepened.

“Your energy is almost completely drained. You can't replenish that with something I've had in my freezer for six months. You need fresh, nutritious food if you're going to get better, kiddo!” He sighed. “But at the very least, I can find some more up-to-date supplies. I'll call my brother this evening – Logan is a haematologist, so he normally has some fresh.”

“And he won't ask why you want some blood bags?”

Patton chuckled.

“He's also a vampire,” he explained. “Why do you think I have some handy?”

#

By the time he'd made up the guest bed, it was late enough that Patton could barely keep his eyes open. He all but collapsed into his own bed, and it was no surprise that the following morning, neither Roman nor Virgil showed any sign of stirring.

Patton wondered how late Roman had stayed up, watching their houseguest for any sign of ill intent. Hopefully he hadn't been too uninviting. Virgil, of course, was fast asleep as Patton made his way to work.

“I'm worried about him, Em,” he said, for what had to be the fifteenth time that morning. “He clearly doesn't have a regular donor – I don't know if he's hunting illegally, or living off bagged blood, but whatever he's doing had him in a bad way. Logan's gotten caught out in the sun before, but never so bad he couldn't heal up again, especially with a meal…”

“This is really eating you like Pooh eats honey, huh?” Emile gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Two feeds _and_ a potion and he's still not back on his feet?” Patton sighed. “I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel responsible for the kiddo.”

“The potion worked?” Emile raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, it did the trick?” Patton shrugged. “It was just something I improvised.”

“I'll have to get the recipe. I've always found that magic doesn't seem to mix right with vampires – if you found something that works, I'd love to hear about it!”

Patton nodded, but he was still biting his lip a little.

“Silly old me,” he commented. “For all I know, Virgil is the oldest creature I've ever met. But he doesn't _look_ a day over twenty, and I just want to – oh, I don't know, wrap him up in a blanket and make him hot cocoa! Or hot blood, I guess…”

Emile fixed him with a flat look.

“You know what I'm going to say.”

Patton chorused along with him: “You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.”

“You've gone above and beyond for this 'kiddo,' but the rest is up to him,” Emile continued. “It's great that you want him to be happy long-term, but all you can offer now is your friendship.”

“I know,” Patton said. “And I hope he'll come to me if he needs anything else. Or someone else who can lend a hand. He must have friends, right?”

#

Despite what he'd said to Emile, Patton found himself fretting for most of the rest of the day. By the time he'd gotten home and fixed Virgil a fresh cup of blood, the sun was already setting outside, and it felt as though their time together was slipping through his fingers as he watched.

“Now, you take care of yourself,” Patton said mock-sternly. “And you come back here if you need anything, isn't that right Roman?”

“Right,” Roman said, his voice as unenthusiastic as Patton had ever heard it.

“Thanks for everything,” Virgil said. “I'll uh. See you around, I guess.”

He shot Patton a mini-salute as he walked out the door, and then he was gone.

Patton slapped Roman lightly on the arm.

“You promised you'd be nice!” he complained. “Virgil's had a tough time, and he might need more help. I don't want him feeling too intimidated to come back here…”

“I tried my hardest, Patton-cake, really I did, but surely you aren't really expecting him to come back? He must have other places he could turn?”

“I'm not so sure.” Patton felt a pang of doubt in his chest. “I –”

No, this wasn't mere doubt. The pain in his chest was growing, deepening, until he felt like he was drowning in guilt. Virgil was going out into the world all alone when he needed Patton's help! Patton was gripped with the urge to chase after him, to call him back, but suddenly his legs felt weak underneath him, and –

“Pat? Patton!”

The last thing Patton felt was Roman's arms catching him as he fainted clean away.


	3. Chapter 3

Virgil burst back through the door of the flat that, five minutes ago, he'd left intending never to return. He had barely made it down to the lobby before some unnameable dread had convinced him that something was direly wrong – he _had_ to get back to Patton, _now_. He didn't even bother knocking, blowing the door clean off his hinges and finding –

Patton, his skin ashen, unconscious in Roman's arms.

“What happened?” Virgil asked, urgently. “Is he alright? I –”

He surged forwards, gripped with terror. But the moment his hand touched Patton's face, he stirred gently, opening his eyes.

“Virge?” he asked weakly. “What…?”

A wave of magic, glittering red and gold, threw Virgil back against the wall. Roman was glaring at him with unconcealed bile, but as he looked down at Patton in his arms, his expression turned tender and afraid.

“You passed out, love,” he said softly. “That was quite the scare. Here, you should sit –”

He helped Patton onto the sofa, and immediately set about trying to make him comfortable.

“Do you want a glass of water or anything?” Virgil blurted out. Roman immediately glared at him, and he held up his hands in surrender, keeping close to the wall as he made his way towards the kitchen.

“Virgil…” Patton spoke in a vague, disorientated tone, but at least he didn't sound hurt or afraid.

When he was done fussing with cushions and blankets, Roman stormed into the kitchen, fixing Virgil with a dark look.

“What. Did. You. Do?” he demanded, sounding as threatening as it was possible to be while whispering.

Virgil shrugged, waving his arms around in an attempt to communicate: _I also have no idea what is happening_.

“I don't know! I could – _sense_ , I guess? – something was wrong, so I came back.” He swallowed, heavily. “It must be a vamp thing, I guess?”

“It isn't,” Roman snapped. “I don't know _what_ it was.”

He snatched the glass of water out of Virgil's hand.

“You, sit,” he ordered. “You aren't going anywhere until I get some answers.”

#

Roman getting answers involved a series of long and circuitous phone calls – first with the Emile Patton had mentioned working with, and then with someone named Dee who Roman kept snarking at. After a lot of bickering back and forth, Patton insisted on taking the phone, and whatever he heard made him go very quiet. He thanked Dee and put the phone down.

“Virgil?” he called. “Can you come in here, please?”

Patton was sat curled up under Roman's arm, a single blanket draped over them both, but he seemed not to notice the tension in the air as he gestured Virgil to sit on the sofa at his other side. He gave Virgil a small smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, and the sadness there was like a knife through Virgil's chest.

“I made a mistake,” Patton said quietly. “I'm very sorry, but I don't think you're going to be able to leave.”

“ _What_?” Virgil's confusion was echoed by Roman's outrage.

“You remember when I healed you, I gave you a potion and some of my blood?” Patton bit his lip. “I might have, accidentally, kinda… fulfilled an ancient vampire ritual? That binds us together magically?”

“So… what does that mean?” Virgil asked, blinking.

“It means that if either of us tries to leave the other…” Patton gave an awkward smile and waved a hand as though to indicate the entire last hour of their lives.

“That can't be right,” Roman said. “Dee must have made a mistake – or forgotten some counter-spell –”

“Dee knows more about this stuff than anyone else we know,” Patton argued back. “And he sounded pretty certain. Life magic and blood fresh from the vein – of course, normally the vampire would be the one performing the magic –”

“Wait,” Virgil said suddenly. “That can't be right. You left for work yesterday, and we were both fine.”

“It isn't. Uh.” Patton shrugged. “Magic is less _literal_ than that, kiddo. It doesn't matter how far we are apart physically, it's more… emotional. You left, without any particular intention of coming back, and I…”

Virgil's stomach turned to ice as the full implications of that sank in. He had _done this_ to Patton. Patton had tried to help him, and now he was _stuck_ with Virgil, maybe forever. And if Virgil tried to leave, then Patton would be the one to suffer for it.

It was unfair, downright cruel. And Virgil had no way to ever make it up for him – not if he tried for the next hundred years.

No wonder Roman was glaring daggers at him right now.

“… so we can go get some of your stuff tomorrow evening, or maybe you could try staying overnight if you want, it might be okay if you're sure you're going to come back –”

“What?” Virgil asked. “Sorry, I zoned out for a minute.”

Patton's smile looked so tired around the edges. Virgil dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand, hard.

“I'm sure you have things you need to sort out at home,” Patton repeated, “but it might be best if you stay here a while longer.”

“That's fine,” Virgil said immediately. “I don't need anything. I won't try to leave.”

Roman's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“You don't want to pick up a change of clothes?” he asked. Virgil wondered if he even realised that his wingtips were curling protectively inwards, towards Patton. “Let your friends know where you've gone?”

“Vampires don't sweat, genius,” Virgil shot back – although in truth, his hoodie was streaked with dust from the events of yesterday evening. “It's fine. I have what I need.”

“But someone must be getting worried about you after you've been gone all day?” Patton prompted. “A roommate? Neighbour? Landlord?”

“Not an issue.”

“If you're lying to him –” Roman began.

“I've been sleeping on the streets.” Virgil blurted it out quickly, his eyes down so he didn't have to see the looks on their faces. “It's not a big deal – I'm a vampire, what's gonna hurt me? It's not like I need food, or –”

“But you can still be hurt.” Patton sounded horrified, and Virgil felt just a little bit smaller, yet again. “And how have you been getting blood regularly?”

“You haven't been _hunting_?” Roman asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“No!” Virgil insisted. “I make what I can begging and I buy it – animal, or those blood substitute packets when I can afford it. The human stuff's too pricey.”

“That is _not_ a healthy diet!” Patton scolded, and when Virgil looked up he was surprised to see Patton's eyes were shiny with tears. “And you are not going to live like that any more, Mister. Not in this house!”

#

At first, Virgil's plan was simple. He had to stay with Patton, for Patton's sake – fine. But he could at least do the right thing, and stay out of sight. He was nocturnal anyway – if he just stayed in his room, they would never have to see each other.

The flaw in that plan had a name, and that name was Patton. Whether due to some misplaced sense of duty, or perhaps the lingering effects of the magical bond between them, Patton seemed to _want_ Virgil hanging around. He lit up like a lightbulb every time Virgil walked in the room, and sagged like a burst balloon every time he started making excuses to go hide away again.

So, Operation Keep Patton From Making That Face got a little bit more complex. Virgil got into the habit of waking up early enough to greet Patton when he returned from work, letting the cheerful witch babble on about whatever strange and unusual customers had come into the shop that day, or lending a hand when it was Patton's turn to cook dinner.

But venturing out into the flat meant a different kind of problem: Roman. The fairy was ever-present – regaling Patton with improbably grandiose stories about his day job at the community theatre, or flambéing some strange concoction of petals and leaves that was, allegedly, food.

Roman did not share his boyfriend's strange compulsion to seek out Virgil's presence, and he was obviously angry at the unwelcome intrusion into their lives. For Patton's sake, he tolerated Virgil in the apartment, but he made no secret of his unhappiness with the situation, scowling whenever Virgil spoke and hissing rude comments under his breath too quietly for human ears to pick up on.

But it was more than just dislike. Roman didn't trust Virgil to be alone with Patton. It had taken him a few days to notice the signs – the way Roman always appeared in the living room a few seconds after Virgil did, or how he'd sweep Patton into a passionate kiss as soon as he arrived home from work – always making sure to run his hands across Patton's neck and shoulders in the process.

And honestly, Virgil could understand. Just because you might keep a viper, that didn't mean you should let it bite you. Patton deserved to have someone watching out for him, someone making sure Virgil didn't do anything to cause him harm.

And that someone certainly wasn't going to be Patton himself.

“I told you from the start, bagged blood can't be all you live off of. It's junk food! I don't only eat snickerdoodles, Roman can't sustain himself on nectar and rose petals – _you_ need a live donor.”

“I don't see why you should have to do it,” Roman grumbled.

“I don't have to! Virgil, if you'd rather find someone else, then of course you can. But –” Patton gave Virgil his best 'aw shucks' smile – “I'm here, I'm willing, and thanks to this binding thingy, I'm kinda your best option?”

Virgil squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable to be the focus of so much attention.

“I don't know…”

He couldn't keep his eyes from flickering to Roman, and the murder eyes he was currently directing Virgil's way. Patton noticed, and turned.

“Give us a minute, honey?” he asked.

“But –” Roman pouted, but all of his righteous fury seemed to melt away under Patton's gaze, leaving his protests half-hearted at best.

“Just a little privacy. I promise I'll call if I need you.”

“… Okay.”

Roman left the room, and Virgil was alone and at Patton's mercy.

“So when you said 'best option' –?” he asked, searching for a distraction.

“You can draw energy from my blood more efficiently,” Patton explained.

“Because you're my, uh…”

“'Thrall' is the usual name for it.” Patton's lips quirked into a smile. “But as en _thrall_ ing as I find you, kiddo, how about we just say that I'm your special pal?”

Virgil chuckled.

“Okay. Yeah, let's go with that.”

He glanced at Patton, which was a mistake. Patton had opened the buttons on his polo shirt, and something about the way he turned his body towards Virgil felt so suggestive that Virgil would have flushed bright red if he still had bloodflow. The scent of vanilla incense was heavy in the air, and Patton's gaze had Virgil pinned to his seat – watching him carefully, like he might bolt at the first sudden move.

“It shouldn't feel any different to feeding off anyone else,” Patton reassured. “You'll just feel full a little faster, and I'll be able to recover quicker.”

Virgil bit his lip.

“And, uh. I'll know when it's time to stop, right? I won't take too much by accident?”

Patton's expression softened.

“Kiddo. Have you not done this before?”

“Of course I have!” Virgil protested. “… Once. I saved up and went to a paid donor, but…” He shrugged. “It was weird. Didn't seem worth going back.”

“What about your coven? Didn't they have donors you could practise with?”

“I never had a coven.”

“But – but your sire…?”

Patton's brow was pinched with concern. Virgil didn't want to add to that – but he couldn't lie to those wide blue eyes, either.

“He offered. I wasn't interested.”

“You did consent, though? To being turned?”

“Not exactly.” Virgil chuckled. “I was a Mercy Exception.”

The law required that a vampire get permission before creating a new vampire – but there were a few key exceptions, the most famous of which covered situations where the only alternative to turning was the mortal's imminent death.

“Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I didn't… you know.” Virgil pulled a face. “But I wasn't really ready for all this. I didn't want to join a coven just because my sire didn't want me to literally die in front of him –” Virgil regretted those words instantly as Patton blanched – “It's fine! I've always been more of a lone wolf, anyhow.”

Patton's gaze was warm and knowing as he reached up a hand to brush the hair off of Virgil's face.

“Of course you are, kiddo.”

Virgil's heart did what felt like a cartwheel inside his chest.

Then Patton's eyes crinkled into a laugh, and the moment passed.

“Oh, you really are a kiddo, aren't you? I was worried all this time that you were secretly like, three hundred years old –”

“What? No, I'm like, twenty-one!”

Patton shook his head. “You'd be surprised how quickly the non-aging thing gets weird. I'm twenty-seven now, and my brother looks the same age, even though he's six years older than me.” He sighed. “I think you should meet him. Logan… I think you'd get on with him.”

“I guess I'll have to, sooner or later,” Virgil replied. Strangely, though, the thought of that wasn't filling him with dread right now.

There was a long moment's pause.

“We don't have to do this today,” Patton said. “We can wait, as long as you want. You could find another donor, or I could ask Logan –”

“No, I want to try,” Virgil said impulsively. “You're sure I won't hurt you?”

“Not by accident,” Patton promised. “You'll feel it, when it's time to stop.”

He shuffled closer to Virgil, encouragingly.

“Lots of vamps have a favourite spot but if you're not used to it, neck is easiest to find the vein. Once you break the skin, your instinct will take over in no time.” Patton gave him a warm smile. “And remember to keep breathing through your nose, or you might pass out.”

“Okay. Okay.” Virgil took a deep breath. “Uh. Thanks?”

“No problem, kiddo.”

Virgil hesitated for a moment longer, searching for any sign of doubt or fear in Patton's eyes – but there was nothing there. No reason to back out.

Nothing to do but lean forward, lower his head against the soft curve of Patton's neck – and bite.

Patton was right. As soon as Virgil tasted blood, his body knew what to do. His mouth opened wide, creating a seal over the wound, sucking just a little to keep the natural flow of blood spilling into his mouth.

It was intense – just as intense as his first time had been, but where that had felt overwhelming, too much too fast, this was something… entirely different. Every one of Virgil's senses was lit up like a firework, and it was though he could feel every vein in Patton's body, every pulse of his heart, every breath of his lungs, the minute shifts of his body against Virgil's. He could feel Patton's life force itself streaming into him – startlingly intimate, and a little heady. But this time, he wasn't afraid. He didn't feel like a monster. Patton wanted this, whole-heartedly, and Virgil…

Virgil was going to prove himself worthy of that trust. Even if it took a lifetime.

It was all over surprisingly quickly. After a couple of minutes Virgil simply knew that he had enough, that his body could store no more. He pulled back, soothing his tongue softly over the wound a couple of times to help close it –

And then started a little as he realised that he was, more-or-less, _necking_ with Patton. He drew back quickly, very glad that he couldn't blush.

“Sorry! Was that okay?”

Patton gave him a slow, lazy smile and Virgil's stomach immediately tied itself in knots.

“That was good,” he said. “You were very gentle.”

“Uh, great.” Virgil jumped to his feet. “I'll get Roman to come take care of you now, I –”

He took a slow breath, pausing in the doorway.

“Thanks a lot, Patton.”

Then Virgil fled back to his room, his lifeless heart somehow still pounding in his ears.

Feeding off Patton had been the most wonderful experience of his existence – life and undeath.

And it could never, ever happen again.


	4. Chapter 4

“– and he's kinda shy, but he's so smart and funny when you get him talking, and he's so careful all the time – I told you about how gentle he was feeding from me, right?”

“You did,” Logan confirmed, with a small sigh.

“Barely even left a mark, it all healed up in less than an hour,” Patton said, not for the first time that evening. “And he was ever so polite about it – although he got all embarrassed and ran off afterwards. I hope he's gonna be okay with next time.”

“So long as you wait another two weeks,” Logan chided his brother.

“I know, I know!” Patton protested.

“I know that you _know_. But it would hardly be out of character for you to disregard safety protocol because you were feeling all… 'twitterpated'.”

“What?”

“I do look forward to meeting this Virgil. It sounds as though there is much I could discuss with him, and it will be good for you to have a more rational influence in your day-to-day life. Given that he's going to be a permanent fixture, I'd prefer to be introduced sooner rather than later, although I can understand if you feel that his adjustment period is not yet complete –”

“Hold up there, rewind!” Patton blinked at his brother. “What was that about _twitterpated_?”

“That is… what this is, yes?” Logan waved a hand in Patton's general direction. “I haven't seen you like this since you first met Roman.”

“That's not – I mean I don't – he – I – we –” Patton sputtered. Then: “… Oh.”

Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, indeed.” The look he gave Patton was radiating smugness. “How is Roman coping?”

Patton grimaced.

“Oh, oh no!” He groaned. “I thought it was just the whole undead-fae rivalry thing again – honestly it's like when he first met you, he and Virgil won't stop _bickering_ – but if he's noticed, and he thinks I _know_ and I'm not _talking_ to him about it – oh, no wonder!”

Logan gave Patton a flat look.

“Might I suggest that you collect Virgil's blood bags and hurry home?” he said wryly. “It appears you have some important conversations waiting for you.”

#

“So, uh. Sweetheart?” Patton said to Roman as the two of them were getting ready for bed that evening. “I was talking to Logan about Virgil earlier, and he thought I was acting kinda strange?”

“Yes?” Roman asked. His voice was nonchalant, but his wings had flared out behind him – a clear sign that he was more interested than he was trying to pretend.

“He said that he thinks I have a crush on Virge. Well, the exact word he used was 'twitterpated' –”

“Why am I not surprised that the nerd will only make a Disney reference if it's an excuse to use a long word!”

“… and I think he might be right.” Patton concluded. “I didn't realise it before but… Virgil makes me feel all _warm_ and _fluttery_ and I keep wanting to be _around_ him and – and so, I thought we should probably talk about that.”

Roman and Patton had an open relationship – fae didn't consider monogamy a default, and Patton had always known his heart was too big to share with just one person. They'd both had crushes before, even dated a few people – but this was different. Virgil was going to keep living with them, however this might turn out, and that made everything seem much more serious. And more precarious.

Roman was silent for several seconds.

“This is all a bit fast, isn't it?” he said, shifting uncomfortably. “How do you know that what you're feeling is real?”

Patton blinked at him in confusion. “You asked me out within an hour of meeting me.”

“That's different, that was love at first sight!”

“And why can't this be?”

“Because I didn't use magic on you!”

There was a moment of silence. Roman turned red, clearly embarrassed for snapping – but he didn't take it back, either.

“Virgil didn't use magic on me,” Patton said slowly. “He doesn't even know how.”

“But this ritual, the 'thrall' thing – I know it was technically your magic, but it's a _vampire_ spell. It's supposed to benefit Virgil, to turn you into some kind of – perfect donor, or servant, or something! And now you turn around saying you have feelings for him –”

“I do have feelings for him –”

“How do you know they're really _your_ feelings?” Roman challenged him. “How do you know you're not just… under his spell?”

“So what if I am?”

Roman's mouth dropped open. Clearly, whatever he had expected Patton to say, it wasn't that.

“I apprenticed a witch when I was eighteen, Roman, I've been under love spells before. As I'm sure you're aware, the feelings they create _feel_ just as real as any other. I can't prove for certain that the binding hasn't affected me, but if it has, that effect is permanent and irreversible, just like the binding itself. So why don't we stop worrying about the cause, and start assuming that my feelings are valid?”

Patton had never been good at confrontation. By the time he'd finished his little speech, his cheeks were damp with angry tears, and he was shaking so hard he felt like he might fall apart. He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, trying not to break down into sobs.

“Love…” Roman drew back, looking distraught. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel… well. I just worry about you.”

“I'm a grown man, and a trained witch.”

“With a big heart,” Roman said, softly. “This isn't about magic or power. I don't want to see you get taken advantage of… or get that generous heart broken.”

“And you really think Virgil is going to – what, exactly?”

Roman shrugged, looking sheepish.

“I don't know,” he admitted. “I don't _know_ him. And you're asking me to trust him with the most precious thing in my world.” Patton opened his mouth to object, but Roman held up a hand, placatingly. “Which is your right, I know – I'm not trying to control your actions, and I won't stop you pursuing him. But you wanted to know how I felt, and there it is.”

“Could you just… let me handle things?” Patton asked. “You don't have to be his best friend, but – try to let him be? For me?”

“I'll try,” Roman agreed, sitting beside Patton and putting his arms around him. “… but I make no promises if he insults me first –”

Patton giggled, damply, and buried his face into Roman's shoulder.

“Oh, and you're not at all jealous.”

“Maybe just a little,” Roman huffed.

“It might not even happen,” Patton said with a sigh. “I mean – I don't want to put any pressure on him, not when we're stuck with each other and he's been through so much. It's not like I'm going to ask him out tomorrow or anything. I don't even know if he likes me back!”

“Of course he does,” Roman scoffed.

Patton sat up suddenly, making a noise of interest.

“Did he say something to you?” he asked, suddenly breathless.

Roman gave him a look warm enough to melt chocolate.

“My magnificent mage,” he said, cupping Patton's face in his hand. “How could any man not love you?”

#

Of course, real life was not that simple. As much as Patton might hope that his feelings really were requited, he couldn't assume anything. He had to take things slowly and carefully, so that Virgil wasn't overwhelmed or put in an awkward position.

… But it was so _hard_ to take things slow! Now that Patton recognised what he was feeling, it seemed as though everything had been turned up to eleven. The mere sight of Virgil was enough to make his breath catch in his throat. Patton felt drawn to touch him, as though his hands were full of magnets – when Virgil hunched into his hoodie, Patton wanted to put a comforting hand on his shoulder; if he ran a hand through his hair, then Patton ached to do the same. And if he laughed – oh, those beautiful moments when one of Patton's jokes managed to startle a laugh out of Virgil, and he'd curl in on himself, revealing a bright flash of sharp-edged fangs before he hid behind his hand… Patton could swear that his heart skipped a beat, every single time.

And Virgil was slowly growing braver. For the first few days he'd practically refused to leave his room – which perhaps wasn't a surprise, given the shock of the situation. But Patton had slowly drawn him out, and now he often sat in the front room in the evening, chatting or listening to music on the phone Patton had given him. It was so nice to have him around, cracking jokes about what was on TV or fussing about the risks of Emile's latest experiment.

And then –

“Hey, uh…”

“What's up?”

Patton was careful to keep his response soft. If he was too eager, sometimes Virgil would seem to get startled out of his thoughts, and brush it off with a “never mind” – but if he waited patiently, the words would come out sooner or later.

“So… is it cool if I go out this evening?” Virgil asked all in a rush. “Google says there's a few places in town that have nocturnal opening hours, and like, if I'm going to be here a while…”

He trailed off, clearly seeing the concern on Patton's face.

“Of course it's alright!” Patton said, his voice tight with worry. “Why wouldn't it be? We aren't – keeping you prisoner, you can go any time –”

“No, no, I – uh.” Virgil caught his lip between his teeth, and Patton was momentarily distracted. “I mean, you don't mind me… risking it? I'll come straight home if I feel something wrong, or you can call me – or Roman can, I guess, if you… you know what, it was a dumb idea, I won't go –”

“Virge.” Patton took a deep breath. “You can go out _any time_ _you want_. You don't have to ask permission – not from me, or Roman, or anyone. This is your apartment too!”

“But…”

“I know you'll come back if we have… a _problem_.” Patton made an over-exaggerated grimace, and Virgil snorted. “But you didn't need to tell me that, kiddo. I already knew.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“How?”

“You've never done anything to hurt me.” Patton smiled. “I trust you.”

“… Oh.”

Virgil looked amazed for a moment, his expression so open and unguarded that Patton ached to say more, to spill all the words and feelings bubbling up inside him.

But then Virgil turned away, hiding his face – uncomfortable? Embarrassed? Or simply shy?

… It was probably for the best.

#

And so, a routine began to fall into place. Roman and Patton worked during the day. Virgil might go out at night – Patton never asked where, but he saw library books in Virgil's arms a few times, with titles like 'The Nature of Vampirism'. And of course, they all joined each other for dinner – where Virgil and Roman still bickered, but in an increasingly familiar tone, the worst of the venom leaching away into playfulness.

They were making a home together, just the three of them. And it would be hard, yes – families always were.

But together, Patton knew, they would get through anything.


	5. Chapter 5

Virgil was starting to put together a plan.

He'd been going to the library, reading up on vampirism and life magic and the history of thralls. He wanted to know everything there was to know – which, of course, would be easier if he knew anything at all to _start_ with. He didn't, but fortunately the long quiet nights gave him a lot of reading time – especially if he stayed up into the late hours of the morning, poring over increasingly obscure academic texts that he'd ordered through inter-library loan.

There _had_ to be a way to undo what he had done to Patton. Every spell had a counter-spell, right? Or at least, some way to mitigate part of the damage – perhaps they'd still have to see each other sometimes, but Patton could have most of his freedom back.

But there was a huge flaw in this idea: Virgil knew _nothing_ about magic. Less than nothing, practically. As much as vampires were magical creatures, it took years of practise and training for them to learn how to use that power, just as it did most humans. Virgil didn't know an enchantment from an elixir, and his grand idea was beginning to seem impossibly distant.

“What are you up to in here, Count Dark-Eyeshadow-ula?”

Virgil almost jumped out of his skin, slamming the book shut and whirling to face Roman in the doorway.

“I'm reading,” he snapped. “What, is that not allowed?”

Roman held up his hands in an “I come in peace” gesture.

“Never mind, forget I asked!” he said with a half-smile. “I was just wondering if you wanted some company, but clearly…”

Virgil frowned.

“What are you doing up? It's the middle of the night.”

Roman shrugged – an expansive motion that made his wings flutter dramatically.

“You know, technically I don't _have_ to sleep,” he said. “I mean, Patton makes it worthwhile, but I stayed up late running lines and now…” For once, Roman actually looked a little sheepish. “I don't want to wake him up by going to bed.”

“You're… bored?” Virgil asked. “So you decided to come pester me?”

“Got it in one, my paranormal pal!” Roman shot fingerguns at him, and Virgil rolled his eyes. “Come on, don't tell me that these dusty old doorstops are more interesting than yours truly?”

Virgil huffed. In truth, they weren't. But…

“I'm doing something important,” he complained.

“Oh? Do tell!”

“I…” Virgil hesitated for a moment but – if there was one person likely to agree with what he was trying to do… “I'm looking for a way to break this binding between Patton and me. There has to be one, somewhere, but I –” He threw open the book again, gesturing to a random paragraph, tiny dense type thick with esoteric jargon. “I can't make heads or tails of this!”

Roman peered over his shoulder.

“This is about the elemental laws of transfiguration,” he commented. “I don't see how that's going to help.”

Virgil blinked at him. Roman blinked back.

“Can you – I mean…” Virgil sighed. “I don't know anything about magic.”

“Whereas I know a great deal?” Roman grinned. “Yes, Virgil. I will come to your aid as your enchantment expert, your sage of sorcery, your professor of prestidigitation –”

“Shh, you're going to wake up Patton!”

Roman quieted at once, and he and Virgil exchanged a look. Neither of them said it out loud but they both knew – Patton shouldn't know about this. Not until they had some kind of answer for him, one way or the other.

Roman cleared his throat.

“Now,” he asked. “In your woefully under-educated opinion – which of these volumes seemed most promising?”

#

It took a couple of weeks to work it all out. Long enough that Virgil was starting to get on edge – there were only so many excuses he could give Patton about feeding, and if he fed from Patton again… well, his resolve was only so strong.

Roman was, surprisingly, a big help. Now that he and Virgil had something in common, all his boisterous enthusiasm was directed at a target, and the small amount left over for rude nicknames was a lot less venomous than it had been a month ago. Perhaps, in another life, they could have been friends one day.

But Virgil had already crossed too many lines to ask for that.

In hindsight, the solution had been staring them in the face from the start.

“It makes sense. The bond will remain manifest for as long as you are vampire and mortal,” Roman recited in a hushed whisper. “We can change the effects in various ways, but the underlying bond will be preserved.”

“And none of those ways are an option,” Virgil said with a scowl. If anything, all the suggestions they'd come across would make the situation worse. They were for vampires who wanted to _deepen_ the bond, not break it.

“We can't stop you being a vampire, and we _won't_ rush Patton into any kind of… decision. But given time…”

“You think he'll choose it eventually,” Virgil completed.

His eyes searched Roman's face for any trace of doubt, but there was none.

“There are a lot of paths open to Patton. Vampire, fae, sorcery… but I think he'll want to take the long road, one way or another.”

“So if I'm gone for… what, twenty years?”

“Maybe only ten!” Roman said, his cheer sounding a little forced. “Virgil, that's a long time.”

“I mean… yeah, it is now. But in a century, it'll seem like nothing. Just a long nap, right?” He tried to give a reassuring smile, but he wasn't sure it was working.

“But – you'll be –”

“ _Asleep_ ,” Virgil said forcefully. “You'll just be putting me to sleep. I'll be coming back, eventually.” He grinned. “Who knows, maybe after ten years Patton will have forgiven me!”

“Easy for you to say, you're not the one who has to live with him in the interim,” Roman muttered darkly.

“You'll be fine,” Virgil said, as softly as he dared. He hoped Roman could hear everything he wasn't saying: _without me_ _around_ _, you'll be fine again._ _I'm sorry._

Vampires were not easy to kill. There was very little that could do so permanently. But incapacitate – turn to a heap of dust for a few minutes, an hour perhaps, before their essence reformed itself? There were a few things that could do that.

And most magic folk knew that if you could capture that dust, take a vial of it and pack it in a box with garlic powder and aconite and sacred hawthorn? Then you could keep a vampire incapacitated for years. Decades, if you were careful.

Long enough for a mortal to find a few grey hairs on his head, a few laughlines on his brow, and decide he was ready to join his brother and his lover among the undying. And then Virgil could come back, could try again, finally with a level playing field he might be able to earn the right to some small part of Patton's time, genuinely this time –

“And you're sure you want me to do it?” Roman asked, not for the first time.

“Who else would I ask?” Virgil shrugged.

“But you trust me? To let you out again, when…?”

“Should I not?” Virgil joked, and to his surprise the laugh came easily. “Princey, I know we didn't have the best start but… I know you only want what's best for him.”

“And so do you,” Roman said. It wasn't a question, and that sent a shiver down Virgil's spine. He turned away.

“So, uh… a stake is probably the easiest way to do this. We'll have to wait until the sun's fully risen, otherwise I'll just come back again right away –”

“You want to do it today?”

Roman sounded surprised for some reason.

“Why wait?” Virgil asked.

“I thought you might want to say… some kind of goodbye.”

Virgil shrugged, fighting to keep his voice steady.

“It's cleaner if I just go. It'll be like I was never here at all.”

#

There wasn't much that they needed to prepare. Roman phoned in sick to work, but all the supplies they needed were in the kitchen with the rest of Patton's herbs and equipment. The stake was the easiest part – even in the city, a sharp piece of wood was easy enough for a fae to summon.

Then it was just the long, agonising wait for the sun to rise high enough in the sky. Neither of them seemed willing to speak.

“… I think it's almost time,” Virgil said slowly, peering at the chink of sunlight shining in through the blackout curtains. The higher the sun was in the sky, the more time Roman would have to complete the ritual before Virgil started to reform. They already had the stake, the vial and the box all ready, and there was really no reason left to hesitate.

“You're sure you want to go through this?” Roman asked. “There's no shame in –”

“I'm sure,” Virgil said. “Tell Patton I'm sorry?”

“Of course.”

“And –” Virgil hated how his voice started to catch. “Take care of him, okay? I want my chance to make this up to him in twenty years. To make it up to both of you.”

“Of course I will,” Roman said. “You'll get your chance, I pro –”

And that was the moment that they heard the door opening.

“Roman?” Patton's voice called from the living room.

Virgil and Roman stared at each other, horrorstruck. What should they do? Should they do it now, before Patton could find them? There was no _time_. Should they try and hide what they were doing? There was _nowhere to hide_.

“Thomas stopped by the shop and said you were out sick today – do you have bellfever again? You should have called me, darling…”

His voice was getting closer and closer. There was no time. What should they –?

“Roman. Virgil.” Patton was stood in the doorway. “What are you doing?”

Virgil had imagined how Patton might react when he found out – when Roman told him, what Virgil's decision had been, when Virgil finally saw him again. But seeing his face, watching the colour drain away and his eyes begin to swell with tears – that was a thousand, a million times worse than anything Virgil had conjured in his imagination.

There wasn't much point in denying it. Patton had seen the box, had seen Virgil poised by the window. He could smell the garlic powder, see the hawthorn. Every magic user knew what this ritual would do.

“I… why?” Patton was looking back and forth between the two of them. “Why would you –?”

“It was my idea,” Virgil said quickly. “I asked him to. I thought – if I'm out of the picture, just for a while –”

“Out of the picture?” Patton echoed, his voice cracking. “You couldn't – Virgil, there are other ways –”

“We've been looking!” Roman jumped in. “That is, Virgil was looking, and I offered to help him, and this – it seemed like this was the best way, under the circumstances –”

“What circumstances?” Patton's voice was shaking. “I understand – yes, you need space, I'm sorry if I was too much but – but I would have just stopped! I would have tried harder, if you'd just told me!”

“No, it wasn't you, I swear, it's just – the situation, I wanted to wait for things to – to be different, and then we could start over –”

“What do you mean different? How long were you going to wait?” Patton's eyes were burning with fury even as tears streaked down his cheeks, and from the look he gave Roman it was clear he'd guessed the answer. “Until the bond was broken. What – years, decades? Were you even going to tell me what had happened?”

“Of course!” Roman insisted, but his wings hung low with shame. “… Most of it.”

“Uh huh. And I'm the last to know.” Patton laughed mirthlessly, and the sound turned Virgil's stomach. “Of course I am! I'm so overbearing, so impossible to live with that you'd rather have a _stake through the heart_ –”

“No, Patton, it wasn't like that –”

“I don't want to hear it.” Patton's voice was sharp as a dagger, and it pierced Virgil's chest just the same. “I'm leaving.”

The door slammed, and he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Patton stormed out of the flat. Perhaps someone called after him, but he couldn't hear over the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears.

The sound of his heart breaking.

He wasn't thinking. His mind was too loud for thoughts, too full of emotions which rose up like a flood and washed everything else away. And besides, it hurt too much – he'd think as far as “How could –?” or “Why wouldn't –?” and then his mind would falter, cringing back from the pain that waited there like reflex pulling his hand away from a flame.

He walked without caring where he was going, only really aware of it when he reached the main road. Normally he would turn for work here, but – he couldn't go back, not now. He couldn't pretend like everything was normal, when his world was shattering into fragments, into dust.

He raised his hand to hail a cab, and that was when the first real thought hit him: he pictured Virgil's face, completely clearly, open-mouthed and guilt-stricken just as it had been in the moment Patton entered onto that terrible scene. And Patton thought, with absolute clarity: _I don't want to see him right now_.

The pain hit him like a bolt of lightning, and he crumpled to the ground, crying out. A passer-by stopped to help him, but Patton could hardly hear what they were saying. His chest was being torn in two, and he stared down at himself half-expecting to see a gaping hollow where his heart had been ripped from his chest.

But there was no blood, no wound. All the damage was on the inside – tucked away, where no-one could see.

Patton mumbled some excuse, something about twisting his ankle. He wasn't sure anyone believed it, but they helped him into a cab just the same. He gave the address and bit at his lip, forcing himself to focus for long enough to type out a text.

Then he curled up on the cab's back seat, and sobbed until he could hardly breathe.

#

When the cab door opened, Patton recoiled instinctively. But instead of the unbearable pain of one of his love's faces, he was met by a warm, faintly familiar smile. Seth, one of the coven's regular donors. He was at his brother's house.

“Hey, Pat. Come on, let's get you inside, Logan's waiting…”

Gentle hands helped him to his feet. Somewhere, a second voice was speaking to the driver, but Patton couldn't focus on anything other than putting one foot in front of the other. Seth helped him inside, into one of the windowless drawing rooms, and there was Logan, wrapped in a flannel nightgown. Of course, it was the middle of the day. Patton's text must have woken him.

He opened his mouth, half-intending to apologise, but Logan was in front of him faster than a blink, pulling Patton into a tight embrace. In his brother's arms, Patton suddenly felt about six years old again, and he buried his face into Logan's shoulder and wept so hard his whole body shook. Logan made no move to let go, holding him steady as an anchor until Patton pulled away.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked softly, pulling Patton towards a seat. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I – I –” Patton shook his head. He gestured to his chest, hand over his heart, where the pain had dulled from knife-sharp to a low, grinding ache that was impossible to ignore.

Logan nodded in understanding.

“Was it Roman, or Virgil?”

A fresh sob tore its way out of Patton, and he wrapped his arms around himself tight, as though trying to hold himself together. _How could they, how could they, how could he lose them both_ – _?_

Logan's hand was on his knee, steadying him as he fought for breath.

“You know you can stay here as long as you need,” Logan was saying. “Emile already rang, I told him you would need the day off, but I'm certain he will permit a longer absence if necessary. I'll inform the rest of the coven not to answer any other calls about you, even from – well, you won't have to face anyone until you're ready, I promise.”

Patton smiled weakly, and squeezed his brother's hand.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I… I know I have to explain.”

“Not if you don't –”

“No, I need to, I…” Patton took a deep breath. “Roman tried to dust Virgil.”

Even Logan, normally so impassive, looked shocked.

“I… you said he was having difficulties, but I assumed they were minor. He really attacked –?”

“It wasn't an attack. Virgil asked him to.” Patton hiccuped a little. “He said he wanted to be out of the picture. Until the bond was broken, I think, and then Roman was going to let him out. When he was safely away from… me.”

There was echoing silence.

“I guess they finally found some common ground!” Patton said, trying not to sound as bitter as he felt. “I mean, I asked Roman to make an effort to help Virgil settle in. It's not his fault that Virgil wanted to –”

“Stop,” Logan said, gently.

“And hey, if you were stuck with some hopeless, lovestruck mortal who had no sense of boundaries, who wouldn't –”

“Stop,” Logan repeated, firmer this time. “Patton, you don't have to make this alright.”

“I'm not –”

“Don't make excuses, I know you far too well for that to work. Something awful just happened. You're allowed to be upset. You're allowed to be angry. You can be in pain right now, and I promise you, the world won't end.”

“But –” Patton's voice broke, and he doubled over. “I can't breathe without them, Lo. It hurts so bad.”

Logan pulled Patton into his lap, and put a hand in his hair.

“I know,” he said. “I've got you.”

#

Virgil was frantic with worry.

“We have to go after him –”

“It's daylight out there!” Roman stepped between him and the doorway. “You think getting yourself burnt to a crisp is going to help?”

“Okay, _you_ go then.”

Roman shook his head.

“Patton needs space. We need to give him space. He'll come back when he's ready, and we have to –” His voice cracked. “Oh, my love, my darling angel, how could I hurt him like this? I should never have let you convince me –”

“You're blaming me?” Virgil snarled. “From what I remember, you didn't exactly take much convincing.”

“It was your – no, no, you're right.” Roman deflated. “I must accept my fair share of the blame. Oh, how can I ever earn back his love after I betrayed him so?”

Virgil scowled. Pacing back and forth, his eyes fell upon the box on the floor, and in a flash of rage, he needed it gone. He hurled the box against the wall, smashing it to pieces – and then hissed in pain, as a spray of garlic powder scorched his fingers.

Then he doubled over, clutching at his chest. Something was wrong, very wrong – was it possible to have a heart attack when your heart didn't beat? No, wait –

“Something's wrong with Patton,” he gasped. Roman had been leaning over him in concern, but when Virgil said that he froze. “He isn't coming back. What if he got attacked – what if he's hurt –?”

“He is hurt,” Roman said simply. “We're the ones who hurt him.”

“You know what I meant! We need to help him, I have to find him –”

“Not. Now.” Roman stood firm. “I know how you feel, Virgil, but we have to give him time. I can't… I don't want to lose him over this. I don't know what I'd be without him.”

Virgil scowled at him.

“Patton is the only person who cares whether I live or die,” he snapped.

Roman flinched, but he didn't say anything. No remorse, not even an attempt to play at caring, just – a silent, wide-eyed stare.

“Get out of my room!” Virgil screamed. “If you're not going to help, then leave me the fuck alone!”

Roman paused in the doorway.

“We'll go after him at nightfall,” he promised.

Virgil wanted to throw something at him, but before he could, Roman had closed the door and walked away.

Instead, Virgil put his face into his pillow and screamed until his throat felt as raw as the place where his heart should be.

#

“Head west.”

Virgil was sullen and scowling in the front seat of Roman's car. The fairy didn't speak as they were driving, his usual chatter replaced with a look of grim focus on the road ahead.

Virgil felt a twinge in his chest.

“Turn left up ahead.”

Roman nodded. “I think I know where we're going. Right again up ahead?”

Virgil huffed in response. The sky was still stained violet from the sun setting, but it still felt like they'd left it too late. Patton had needed him hours ago. He was going to arrive, and discover he had waited too long, and now –

And now –

Roman pulled onto the gravel driveway of a large house on a quiet suburban street. Something about it was making the hairs on Virgil's neck stand on end. This place was not meant for him. He knew this feeling.

This territory had been claimed by other vampires.

“His brother,” Virgil put together as they got out the car. “He runs a coven?”

“He's part of one,” Roman corrected. “The person in charge would be –”

“Me.”

A figure stepped out of the shadows. He was wearing a cape and bowler hat, which he tipped up to reveal a sharp-featured face that was half-covered by a pattern of small, round scars. He smiled coldly, revealing a vampire's long fangs.

“My friends call me Dee,” he said. “My enemies call me their worst nightmare. Remind me, upon which side of the line does 'making my brother-in-law cry' fall?”

“We're here to apologise,” Roman said quickly, his wings fluttering with anxiety. “If he doesn't want to see us, we'll leave again.”

He nudged Virgil, clearly trying to prompt agreement. Virgil continued to scowl silently at Dee, every one of his instincts on high alert. There was a powerful threat in front of him, _between_ him and Patton, and it was taking all of his focus not to give in to the urge to either fight or flee.

Dee sighed dramatically.

“Fortunately for you, Patton is a far more forgiving man than I was. He'll see you.” He sniffed. “Roman first. You, with me.”

While Roman was allowed up to see Patton, Virgil cautiously followed Dee into a sitting room. No-one else was present, and even with his highly acute hearing, Virgil couldn't hear any sounds of life in the house, not even Roman's footsteps on the stairs.

“You don't recognise me, do you?” Dee asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Should I?”

In lieu of answering, Dee flicked his fingers. In a moment, the scars vanished, and his face rounded out into something smoother, less remarkable – but for Virgil, memorable in a completely different way.

_He had immediately regretted letting his family drag him along to one of their stupid anti-undead protests, but getting cornered by a group of counter-protesters as he tried to skulk away was really the cherry on top. They started roughing him up, but one of them must have been a were, and he lost control. In a moment, the hand gripping Virgil's leg became sharp claws sinking deep into his flesh._

_He doesn't remember much after that. The hot, dizzying rush of blood from the severed artery. The sounds of his assailants fleeing, leaving him to bleed out alone. And then – just for a moment before the stab of pain in his neck that made everything go dark – a man's face._

The same face that was before him now.

Virgil jerked backwards off his chair, scrambling away reflexively as the memory washed over him. In a moment, Dee's scars were back, but Virgil couldn't unknow what he had just learned.

“You're my sire,” he croaked, his voice hoarse.

“The one and only,” Dee replied.

He fell silent, waiting until Virgil was in his seat once more before he spoke again:

“You know,” he said, “the offer I made is still open. If you wish to join my coven, we have plenty of space.”

Virgil made a face.

“I'm not looking for a coven right now.”

To his surprise, Dee smiled.

“I thought you might say that. But it felt polite to offer.” His smirk broadened. “Vampires _are_ naturally social creatures, as you know.”

Virgil got the distinct impression he was being mocked. But before he could say anything, Dee's expression turned serious.

“I won't demand a commitment. I still have a duty to you.” Dee was watching him closely. “Even if you don't join, I will still teach you what you need to know. That is, if you're willing to listen now?”

Virgil bit his lip.

“… We'll see,” he said slowly.

Dee nodded, as though he'd passed some kind of test.

“You're currently living your second life,” he said, slowly. “I do hope you'll find something better to do with it than locking yourself in a box.”

Virgil flinched a little at that, but Dee's tone wasn't actually venomous. It was almost… gentle.

“I…”

Then in a flash, any trace of tenderness was gone, and Dee's smile was cold and sharp again.

“After all, you're my fledge. I do have _standards_.”

Then he swept out of the room, leaving Virgil alone with the tangled mess of his thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

Patton took a few deep breaths, trying to clear his head.

The conversation with Roman had gone pretty well! Roman had apologised and they'd talked about keeping secrets, but… well, Roman had a built-in excuse. 'It wasn't my secret to tell' was easy enough to forgive, even if they both agreed now that Patton had a right to know. They'd had fights worse than this before. They would be all right again, given time.

Things with Virgil were going to be… trickier.

Patton was trying his best to prepare, to plan his words but… he just didn't know what he wanted to say. He wasn't like Logan, he had never been good at talking people into things using logic and facts. Patton had always led with his heart.

And right now, his heart felt about a million miles away.

There was a soft knock at the door.

“Come in!”

Virgil stepped inside and, for a moment, the two of them just looked at each other. Virgil hesitated in the doorway, pale and still as stone.

Patton's breath was caught in his chest. He didn't understand – Dee had said that being in the same room would be enough, would end the effects of the bond. So why did he still feel this slow ache inside him, demanding he move closer at the same time he wanted to turn away? Why did he still feel as though something in his chest were hollow and grasping and cracking under the pressure?

It couldn't be the bond any more. This was just normal, mundane heartbreak.

So why did it hurt _so bad_?

“I won't do it again.” The words came out of Virgil's mouth all in a rush, as though he feared Patton's reaction. “I won't try again, I swear. I didn't – even at the time, I knew if I stopped and thought about it too long I'd lose my nerve. That was why I rushed Roman into it. That was why… why I didn't want to tell you.”

“You knew I'd try to stop you.” Patton nodded slightly at that. He'd guessed as much. But – “Why didn't you _want_ me to stop you?”

Virgil sighed and sat down.

“I'm sorry,” he said, instead of an answer. “I really want you to know that, but –”

“Please.” Patton tried not to sound as though he was begging. “I don't need to hear this.”

Virgil flinched a little, and a fresh sting welled up in Patton's throat, but he pushed through it.

“I want to understand, I _need_ to understand,” he explained. “Why?”

“Why not?” Virgil answered, with a shrug.

“It would _hurt_ –”

“Only for a moment,” Virgil interrupted. “I didn't – you're not aware, once it happens, right? You just wake up one day and you're in a different world.”

“And you didn't think that would be hard? Adjusting to a different decade, Virgil, that's a huge deal, you'd miss so many things –”

“I know, I know, it would be really tough, but…” Virgil sighed. “It seemed easier than the alternative.”

Patton wilted. How could it hurt so much, when he'd known this moment was coming all along?

“Easier than staying with me,” he finished for Virgil.

“What? No!” Virgil's shout made Patton start. “How could you think that? Patton, this was all _for_ you.”

“I know you thought it was best to end things suddenly –”

“This was the only way I could think of to be with you!”

They were talking over each other, but Patton heard enough that his breath was punched out of him. He fell silent, no longer able to speak.

“I figured you'd be there, somehow. You know… I mean, your brother's a vamp and you're dating a fae, and witches have their own stuff going on, so…”

“… Oh.” Patton blinked. “I – I don't –”

“But you wouldn't be _mortal_ any more.”

Anger flashed through Patton, catching like dry tinder: “This is about me being too weak –?”

“No, not that,” Virgil's voice sounded pained enough to douse the flames a little. “It's not about weak or strong, it's about free. The bond is for a vampire and a human. If you weren't mortal any more, it would be broken.”

Patton blinked at him.

“In that case –”

“Don't,” Virgil snapped, as soon as Patton moved to speak. “Sorry, but – don't say it, what you're thinking right now.”

“How do you know what I'm thinking?”

Virgil's smile seemed a hair's breadth away from tears.

“Because you're _you_ ,” he sighed. “And because this was why I didn't want to tell you. Because if I say, 'this would be easier if you weren't mortal,' you're the kind of person who answers 'okay.'”

Patton blinked at him. He was right, of course – Patton had been about to offer, it seemed such a simple thing to come between them. And Virgil's voice had softened, almost fond, so why…?

“But I don't want that.” The yearning look in Virgil's eyes left, as quick as it had come, and he was shuttered-off and dark once more. “This bond has you all kinds of messed up, and the last thing I want is to be something you regret. You can't turn your whole life upside down for me. But I thought if I left, if I let you make that choice naturally, then afterwards… maybe we could have some kind of relationship. Only now that can't happen, and I really – I just don't know what to do, Pat, I can't think of anything else.”

Patton felt as though something was shaking inside him, threatening to burst. He gripped his knees, tight enough for the knuckles to turn white.

“So why… can't we have a relationship now?”

Virgil laughed – not in an unkind way. In truth, he just looked exhausted. Patton wondered if he'd slept at all that day – or the day before, for that matter.

“You're… fuck, Pat, I really wish I could. But it's not even just the bond, it's that – you're a good person. A _really_ good person. And that means you're not going to be the one who tells me that I'm overstaying my welcome. We could be friends for a while, maybe, but I know how I work and I know that – always, in the back of my mind, I'm going to be wondering if any of it is real, or if I'm just too pathetic, and you're too selfless to tell me to go away.”

“Selfless?” Patton echoed.

Virgil looked up at him, his eyes wide and desperate even as he folded his arms tight across his chest.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I think you're the most selfless person I've ever met. And I don't want to be a burden on you – I don't want to be something you have to deal with, any more than is necessary. Please, Patton, I – I want you to be selfish.”

Patton stared at him for a moment. Letting those words sink in. Feeling something inside him snap, and let loose all the emotions that had been rising inside him like the tide.

“You know what? Fine!”

Patton dropped out of his seat, falling onto his knees.

“Pat – what are you –”

“This is me, being selfish.” He took a deep breath. “Stay.”

“What?”

“Stay with me.” Patton edged forward, slowly approaching Virgil without ever breaking his gaze. “Have a relationship with me. I am begging you. If you won't do it for your own sake, then do it for mine.”

“Patton –”

Virgil laughed nervously.

“I'm not laughing,” Patton said. He was close enough now to reach out and touch, but he didn't. He just kept moving forwards. “I want you in my life. If you want me to be selfish, then that's what I'm going to ask of you. Stay with me, because I don't think I can bear losing you again, not even for a minute.”

Virgil sighed, and looked away.

“This is the bond talking…”

That was when Patton grabbed his hands, close enough now that Virgil's knees were almost against his chest.

“It's not the bond,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. “You want to know how I know? Because I started feeling like this long before I collapsed, before you ever drank my blood. I heard a strange noise in that alleyway and I knew – I just knew – that I was meant to follow it. And when I saw you, well…” Patton snorted. “The first time you opened your eyes and smiled at me, I knew I had to make you smile again. That I wanted – I _needed_ to see you healthy, and happy, and smiling at me, again and again every single day of my life, and I think I knew right then and there that I'd never be able to walk away – so if you're looking for someone to blame for this whole mess of a situation, it's me! Because the day you tried to walk out of my life, I was already wishing that somehow you'd come back to me, and I guess that wish came true…”

Virgil reached up. His hand hovered between them for a moment, before coming to rest on Patton's face, as light as a feather. Like he was holding something fragile – an eggshell touch.

“Pat,” he said softly. “I had no idea.”

Patton giggled, leaning into Virgil's palm.

“I didn't think I was being especially subtle.”

“Yeah, but…” Virgil shrugged and bit his lip. “I figured I was imagining things. Seeing… what I wanted to see.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“So…” Even with the tears still drying on his cheeks, Patton couldn't keep a smile off his face. “Are you saying you want me to be your _boo_?”

Virgil stared at him for a moment – long enough that the smile faded from Patton's face.

“I'm sorry,” he said quickly. “I didn't mean – I don't want you to feel pressured, not when we're stuck with each other.”

“Okay, now you sound like me.” Virgil said. “No, I just – did you ask me out with a _pun_?”

Patton blinked at him. “Yep!”

“You…” Virgil's face broke into a grin, his eyes crinkling in delight – and for once, he didn't even try to hide his smile. “Patton. You're _perfect_.”

“So that's a yes…?”

“Of course it's a yes!” Virgil's smile grew even wider. “Can I – uh, is it okay if I –”

Patton reached up and took his face in both hands, slowly pulling him down for a kiss. It was gentle – barely more than a brush of lips – but Patton felt as though his lips were tingling with electricity, his heart glowing like a million Watt bulb.

As he pulled back, Virgil's eyes were round as quarters.

“… I was gonna ask for a hug, but that was good too,” he said, breathless.

Patton took a moment to simply stare at him, the way happiness was shining out of his eyes. Patton's heart was racing, tripping over itself in the rush to move ahead – but it wasn't that simple. The ache inside him might be healed for now, but he never wanted to feel that way again.

“You know we've still got a lot to talk about,” Patton said, softly.

Virgil's smile dimmed a fraction – but not all the way.

“I know,” he said, seriously. “But, first… can we go home?”

Patton let out a long breath. Then he grabbed Virgil's hands again, and held them tight.

“Of course we can.”


	8. Chapter 8

_Three months later_ :

“Time to rise and gloom!”

Virgil groaned, putting a pillow over his head at the sound of Roman's voice.

“None of that, _Fangs_ For The Memories! You don't want to be late for work, do you?”

Virgil dragged himself out of his bed, despite the unreasonably early hour – it was still _light_ outside, ew – and made his way through to the kitchen. Patton was humming to himself as he cooked himself breakfast.

Virgil wrapped his arms around him, hiding his face in the back of Patton's neck.

“How are you so awake?” he mumbled. “I'm the one who's _supposed_ to be nocturnal, remember?”

“I guess I'm adjusting to the night shift,” Patton said, and even without looking Virgil could hear the smile on his face. “Besides, I'm in a good mood.”

“Oh?” Virgil propped his chin on Patton's shoulder, and got distracted for a moment by the lack of the usual saucepan of simmering water heating up a blood bag for him. “Wait, nothing for me… has it been two weeks again already?”

“About that…” Patton turned to face him, holding onto the front of Virgil's shirt. His eyes were shining bright with excitement. “It's about time for our next feed and, well, we already have that date planned for tomorrow so I was hoping we could maybe… combine the two?”

“You'd… be interested in that?” Virgil was so very glad he couldn't blush. He couldn't keep the smile from tugging at the corners of his mouth, though.

“I really would,” Patton breathed. “I – um, I looked at some videos online, and – oh, hey there!”

Patton stepped back quickly, turning pink as Roman entered the room.

“What are you two talking about?” he asked suspiciously, looking between the two of them.

“Weird vampire sex stuff,” Virgil deadpanned. Patton made a faint choking noise, but Roman just rolled his eyes.

“Fine, you don't have to tell me,” he remarked. “Just remember that I'm going out for karaoke night tomorrow, so you'll have the place to yourselves. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!”

“Singing in public? I'd rather die. Again.”

“More fun than your mouldy old Thursday night book club at the library.”

“Boys, boys!” Patton scolded fondly. “Stop _flirting_ and go set the table, okay?”

Roman started making flustered noises and Virgil gaped offendedly. Patton laughed at the both of them before turning back to his cooking.

#

When the subject of finding a job had come up, Virgil had found that, strangely, there was something he really wanted to do.

“Learning about magic was… really fun, actually?” he had admitted to Patton. “I'd like to know more, if you have any ideas for how I could do that.”

As it turned out, Patton had the perfect idea. He'd spoken to Emile, and together they'd agreed to expand the shops opening hours by taking on a couple of new apprentices. Now, Emile and his trainee worked during the daylight hours, while Patton and Virgil, now officially a witch-in-training, kept the shop open from nightfall until 3am.

The first couple of hours after opening were always the busiest. They had to deal with handover from Emile and his new apprentice Elliott – a ghoul who apparently showed great promise, once they got the hang of the whole “staying corporeal” thing. Then there would be the evening rush, a mix of after-work daylight clientele and assorted nocturnal supernaturals who were just starting to go about their day.

As the shift was winding down past midnight, the customers normally thinned out. That was when Patton would take Virgil through to the workshop in the back, and teach him lessons on the more magical aspects of being a practising witch.

“Pop quiz!” Patton declared. “A customer comes in. He's a werewolf, and he's been unlucky in love. He wants a potion. Go!”

Patton's speciality was potions. Virgil would soon go on to learn aura-reading from Emile, and perhaps glamours and enchantments from Dee as well. It was traditional for a witch to study with at least seven different teachers during their apprenticeship, but Virgil was glad that Patton was the one he got to start with.

“Werewolf. Werewolf means allergies – always double-check the ingredients labels for any customer, but a werewolf rules out a lot of ingredients. I don't think cinnamon is toxic, but a strong scent might be unpleasant. Unlucky in love…” Virgil frowned. “That's pretty open-ended. It really depends what he wants to achieve.”

“Where would you start?” Patton prompted.

“Uh…” Virgil frowned. “Maybe something with rose-water, vanilla, lemon and honey? Wait, no, I should add something for the luck part as well –”

He frowned. Patton was smiling in that I-know-the-answer-and-you-don't way which was, admittedly very cute, but also somewhat frustrating.

Then it hit him –

“Wait, I know.” He grinned. “Before I make anything, I should talk to him. Find out what's up, what he wants in particular. A potion might not even be the best idea, maybe one of the speed-dating nights we get posted on the noticeboard –”

“Bingo!” Patton replied, beaming. “As Emile always says, being a witch is –”

“One part magic, five parts therapy,” Virgil chorused along with him.

“Okay, it's not long til closing now.” Patton yawned. “How about you start packing up the displays and I'll make us some hot cocoa.”

“Sure thing,” was what Virgil meant to say. Or: “That sounds great!” or “I really appreciate you teaching me magic.”

What he definitely _didn't_ mean to say was: “I love you.” But that's what came out.

Patton nodded absent-mindedly, half turning away – then did a double-take which would have been comical if Virgil wasn't seized by sudden fear.

“I didn't mean to say that!” he blurted out. “I mean – not that I don't, but I wasn't – it just kinda slipped out, sorry, I know it's too soon…”

“You meant it?” Patton's eyes sparkled like stars. “You really, uh…?”

“Yeah.” Virgil shrugged, embarrassed. “I'm, uh. I'm _batty_ about you.”

Patton let out a loud squealing noise, and threw his arms around Virgil. It took a couple of seconds before Virgil realised that the shriek was from glee, not pain or fear, and that Patton was now hugging him.

“I'm batty about you too, Virge, oh my goodness gracious!” Patton held him tight, so tight that Virgil could feel Patton's heartbeat through his chest as if it were his own. “I love you too.”

“Oh.” Virgil said, a smile slowly curling across his lips. “Oh, that's okay then.”

#

And it was.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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